Lesson 04: I Beg your Pardon?

Teach Me how to avoid misunderstandings in conversation

Part I: Sometimes Misunderstandings just Happen

Listen to this dialogue between a doctor and his wife. What led to the misunderstanding?




W: You look upset, what's wrong? How was your day at work?

D: Awful. I lost my patience today all because of an absent-minded nurse.

W: Oh my God. What happened exactly?

D: Well, Jessica, this newcomer nurse, mixed the files of the medical records of three of my patients. That almost drove me mad.. I can't stop thinking about it.

W: My goodness! This is dreadful. What is going to happen now? Is the hospital going to fire her or sue her?

D: No, that's the most irritating bit of the story. They decided to just give her a written warning and let her get away with it this time.

W: That's unheard of! Her mistake cost the lives of three patients, caused irreparable damage to the reputation of the hospital.. and she will not face any consequences?

D: Huh? Cost the lives..? I can't follow you. What do you mean?

W: Well, three people died, didn't they? You said you lost your patients because of her.

D: Oh no, you got it all wrong. The patients are very much alive, thankfully I picked up on her mistake relatively early but that was when I lost my patience.. you know, I had steam coming out of my ears and started shouting at her and lecturing her in front of everybody.. I completely lost my temper.

Answer

Although both the doctor and his wife talk in error-free English, a misunderstanding still takes place and that's because the words patience and patients are homophones (i.e. are pronounced the same, Lesson 01). 

When the doctor's wife says "her mistake cost the lives of the patients", he begins to suspect that at some point the communication went wrong and that she understood patients, rather than patience, so he corrects the misunderstanding.

Comic illustrated by Pablo Stanley

Part II: Clarifying questions

One way to avoid misunderstandings is by asking the other speaker questions. Check out the following questions and use them whenever you are unsure about something and need help or clarification.

1) Sorry, I don't understand.

By using this little phrase you make it clear to your speaker that you find yourself unsure as to what the speaker says or means. By the way, I should stress that there is absolutely no shame in saying directly that you don't understand something (meanings, instructions, pronunciation, accent, etc).

2) Could you speak more slowly, please? 

Case 1: You need to take down some notes.
Case 2: The other speaker just talks very fast making it hard for you to follow them.

Whatever the case, you kindly request them to slow down so as to ease your communication.

3) Could you repeat that, please? 

You politely ask them to say something again.

4) How do you spell that?

You ask the other speaker to name in order the letters constituting a word or name. 

e.g. -How do you spell your name, Richard? 
       -It's R-I-C-H-A-R-D.

5) How do you pronounce that?

You ask the other speaker to say a word or name correctly.

e.g. - How do you pronounce the doctor's name?
       -It's Waysworth, Dr. /weɪswɜːθ/.